Live and Prepare

Live for today. 

Okay....so this is probably obvious to most people....and I admit that I thought about it occasionally but it really never sank in. I was always like "yeah yeah, I am living for today. I am enjoying my life," but I wasn't. I was half living my life for today but I was always thinking about 5 months-5 years in the future.

I didn't understand the difference between preparing for the future and living in the future. Well.....a couple days ago I was sulking (like always) about the future and then I read something that really hit me.

I can't remember where it was from but it essentially said that if you live in the future you will miss things in the present and eventually you will realize what you missed and will want to go back and re-live those moments...but you can't.

This I already knew, but I needed to hear again and again and again until I could change my life to live in the present but prepare for the future.

When I was single I lived to be married, graduate, and have kids.

Now I am married and I want to graduate, have kids, get a job, and get a house to settle down in.

I sometimes think back to my single days and yes I enjoyed them, but I find I can't remember much about them. I wish I had lived more then and not stressed over my future too much. Now I am married and childless, but I have a feeling I won't remember the years where I only spent it with my dearest husband because I was always anxious to graduate and wanting to start a family so badly that it physically hurts to think about the future. Why put myself through so much stress and agony?

I know that if I continue this way that once I have kids I will be wanting them to walk, talk, be potty trained and sooner of later their babyhood will be over and I will miss those days when I could just hold them. I don't want to look back when all my kids are grown up and be filled with regrets that I didn't live in the moment.

Essentially I have learned to think about the future in a way that I will be prepared for it (insurance, graduation, etc) but I won't dwell on "what ifs." It's fun to fantasize about the future....but to let it consume every part of my life is ridiculous.

So just live for the moment, but prepare for the future. Grow spiritually and Heavenly Father will watch over you and things will happen when they are meant to happen.